You may be an even number but you always brought me odd circumstances, everyday. I just want you to be over already. I hate you so much, you have no idea. Why? Because you made me face things I never wanted to see nor did I ever expect to happen. You made me provoke my demons time and time again, made me doubt myself, confused me over major things, left me unconscious of my own state, made me see the worst parts of myself and of everyone, weakened my resolves and senses, left me crying at the end of every night, bent me over my knees, had me begging to be happy or just find a little light somewhere or anywhere, made me numb, showed me filthy people, forced me to be hard on myself, had me lost myself in dark and made me see killing myself slowly each day. But I still appreciate some parts of you. I learned the difference between the people who wanted to stay and those whom I wanted to stay, made me stand up for myself, decide for myself, hold things my way, how to be able to see it all crumbling down with a smile, made me strengthen the weakest parts of myself, fight the intruders, care for myself alone, be there for me when no one was there, taught me to fight and conquer my demons and to not give a damn, how to become a strong stitch above the scars, to handle pain just well and appreciate the little things that I may never get. I had done it on my own. Died inside to revive my soul. I may have lost the angel inside me but I found the lord of me. I learned how to fight myself but be there for me all the same. I am everything I was afraid to be. But I still conquered my fears and rose above them. However, I still want you gone, you were really painful to the point of numbness.
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”
The end of the year, precisely a horrible year, is the starting I would like to infer on my blog. The blog isn’t exactly very trendy but it is a sidestep for my very needed escape from my internal thoughts and sometimes, not-very-inspiring, imaginations.
On the other note, I’d maybe write interesting stuff but mostly rant on the things I’ve seen and be ready for some dramatic scenes if you continue to read my blah-blah.
➡Like this random picture I found on internet which is ‘Nimisha’ from both sides- when you rotate your gadget 180°.
Credit to the owner.